It took almost a week to complete this piece. I don't care to be first, I just want to be honest and sincere.
Last week, I was home with my sick daughter when Tim Cook took the stage to announce the new iPhone 4s. This was his public debut as the CEO of Apple, his first attempt to fill the enormous shoes left by Steve Jobs. I felt he put in a good effort, but something felt wrong. On Wednesday we all found out what that wrong feeling represented. Steve Jobs was on his death bed. After years of illness and speculation about his health, he had lost his battle.
The headline in The New York Times read, "Steve Jobs, dead at 56"
I saw the alert on my iPhone and almost fell down. I turned to my wife and said, "Steve is dead".
She looked at me and I then realized that I had said Steve, as if I was referring to a family member or a friend from college. "Steve Jobs, died" I replied, then turned to my computer and started to weep silently.
I never met Steve, never even came close. I used to dream of working at Apple and for Steve, but to be honest was too afraid to try. I feared I'd disappoint someone I had such a profound admiration for.
In my circle, I am "The" Apple guy, the MacMac, the fanboy, the nut. I never cared or felt anything but pride. I love Apple computer, always have and I imagine I always will. In the 90's when I felt like I'd have to give up, Steve came back and made it all possible again. He saved his company and my company.
I do have a religious affection for Apple, why shouldn't I? They are transformative, they produce the future in the present. They make it seamless, shiny and amazing. Steve has been the driving force behind so many advances we all take for granted.
On Wednesday morning, my coworkers joked that I had missed the day of work when the iPhones had been announced, joked about Steve, my surrogate father and asked how many times I'd actually met him. I replied, not yet, but someday I hope to.
That someday will never happen. I can live with that. What is troubling most to me is that Steve died so young.
I want to imagine a world in which he had lived another 20 years and had a great 3rd act.
However, I feel blessed to have lived in a time where I witnessed and was swept up by a man who will be written about for centuries as the one who brought it to the masses and made them want more.
Thank you Steve, I miss you already.