Dad

What it takes to be a father

When I was younger I saw the movie Parenthood, it's a great multi-generational look at being a parent. I loved it and still do, yet it scared me.

"You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

That line stuck with me, it's just seems so true. The thing is, when I look around I see many seemingly unqualified and incompetent individuals who are successful parents. Personally as a parent, I feel like a pioneer. I feel as if this is uncharted territory.

I have been transformed by fatherhood and yet I feel completely unqualified and incompetent at times.

There are many things through experience and education I excel at. Each and every kid is unique, something I recognize after having a 2nd kid, there just isn't a way to fully prepare prior to having a kid.

I watch other parents, their children are sweet and docile. They are attentive and obedient. I don't want a docile child, but my kids seem to be tough in comparison, the things that I adore about them also frustrate me.

  • Adore - Tenacity
  • Frustrated - Stubbornness
  • Adore - Brilliance
  • Frustrated - Brilliance
  • Adore - Energetic
  • Frustrated - Energetic

I tell myself daily that I can do this and if I nurture those qualities I will raise my kids to be the best possible people.

I have what I need, I have the capability, I have the responsibility, I have the desire, I have the qualifications, I have the love to give.

I have what it takes

Ownership

Now a few months into 2010 and I've become somewhat reflective about the past 10 years. This is a bit of a followup to my Lemons post this week with a different bent.

My adult life started in 1998 when I graduated from college, moved to DC from Michigan and thought I knew what I wanted to do.

I was wrong, but it turned out just right.

My role has evolved over time but I've been in front of one or more computers doing technical work for over 10 years. I am not a developer, but a technical project manager, analyst and strategist. I love that I am in this arena, I thrive on the potential of breaking ground, exploring uncharted territories, improving a faltering system and just utilizing technology to make things better.

Thinking about what I love and hate in my part of this industry leads to an internal debate of "do I prefer working in software products or services?" When I've worked directly on an internal software solution, I've had the pleasure of direct intervention and a certain dedication to my work. Services on the other hand typically have me working on someone else's designs. This often leaves me little or no control in how development is shaped and what the final product becomes.

What really ends up speaking to me in the end is simple.

Ownership!

I have to have buy in or interest in what I am working on. If the project I'm involved in allows me to truly be integral and an interested party, I thrive. A project driven by a client or manager with no interest in making the project great, I falter. I want to own my work even if I don't own the end product. I want to be able to stand next to my work and state with no hesitation that I did something I measure as great.

My Dad has often given me some wonderful advice, things that drive him. His wisdom does not come in direct action on a problem, but more of overall guiding principals.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

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