reflection

What it takes to be a father

When I was younger I saw the movie Parenthood, it's a great multi-generational look at being a parent. I loved it and still do, yet it scared me.

"You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

That line stuck with me, it's just seems so true. The thing is, when I look around I see many seemingly unqualified and incompetent individuals who are successful parents. Personally as a parent, I feel like a pioneer. I feel as if this is uncharted territory.

I have been transformed by fatherhood and yet I feel completely unqualified and incompetent at times.

There are many things through experience and education I excel at. Each and every kid is unique, something I recognize after having a 2nd kid, there just isn't a way to fully prepare prior to having a kid.

I watch other parents, their children are sweet and docile. They are attentive and obedient. I don't want a docile child, but my kids seem to be tough in comparison, the things that I adore about them also frustrate me.

Adore - Tenacity
Frustrated - Stubbornness
Adore - Brilliance
Frustrated - Brilliance
Adore - Energetic
Frustrated - Energetic

I tell myself daily that I can do this and if I nurture those qualities I will raise my kids to be the best possible people.

I have what I need, I have the capability, I have the responsibility, I have the desire, I have the qualifications, I have the love to give.

I have what it takes

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My Mac Life Part 1

It was 1997 and I was just 15 years old when I had my first encounter with a Macintosh. My regular hang out was Blitz Records, a local Michigan record store. The owner of Blitz Records, Mike Fiscus also produced a music and culture magazine; Anti-Matter. I could be found at Blitz almost daily and built a great relationship with the Mike.

I was there when he entered the store carrying his new baby, a new Mac SE. It was a day that changed many things for me.

I remember being overwhelmed and inspired by the Mac, I would actually say I was afraid of it. Mike took time to explain desktop publishing and even demonstrate the features to me. His intention was to change Anti-Matter, to make it into a really creative endeavor with more control at our hands.

Within a year I was working part-time at the store and was asked to begin writing a few reviews for the magazine. I gained a lot of exposure to the Mac and desktop publishing and thus began my affinity with the Mac platform. Mike was instrumental in all of this, from showing me how layout was processed, letting me enter my own reviews and interviews into the magazine and just being a great mentor. I'll never forget the day he took me and a pile of floppy disks to a professional design studio to finish the layout. They and dozens of Macs, printers and even a scanner. The scanner felt like Star Trek to me, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. It was science fiction come to life.

From there I was set loose, I began renting time on Macs around town to do creative work, mostly designing flyers for my band.

It was a few years before I had daily access and eventually my own Mac, but I've never regretted my crush and eventual love for all things Mac and Apple.

Ownership

Now a few months into 2010 and I've become somewhat reflective about the past 10 years. This is a bit of a followup to my Lemons post this week with a different bent.

My adult life started in 1998 when I graduated from college, moved to DC from Michigan and thought I knew what I wanted to do.

I was wrong, but it turned out just right.

My role has evolved over time but I've been in front of one or more computers doing technical work for over 10 years. I am not a developer, but a technical project manager, analyst and strategist. I love that I am in this arena, I thrive on the potential of breaking ground, exploring uncharted territories, improving a faltering system and just utilizing technology to make things better.

Thinking about what I love and hate in my part of this industry leads to an internal debate of "do I prefer working in software products or services?" When I've worked directly on an internal software solution, I've had the pleasure of direct intervention and a certain dedication to my work. Services on the other hand typically have me working on someone else's designs. This often leaves me little or no control in how development is shaped and what the final product becomes.

What really ends up speaking to me in the end is simple.

Ownership!

I have to have buy in or interest in what I am working on. If the project I'm involved in allows me to truly be integral and an interested party, I thrive. A project driven by a client or manager with no interest in making the project great, I falter. I want to own my work even if I don't own the end product. I want to be able to stand next to my work and state with no hesitation that I did something I measure as great.

My Dad has often given me some wonderful advice, things that drive him. His wisdom does not come in direct action on a problem, but more of overall guiding principals.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

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The Flash Battle

Since Apple unveiled the iPad last Wednesday a large focus has been centered on the lack of Flash support.

Sides were quickly formed; Pro-Flash or Anti-Flash.

The Pro-Flash side calling it absolutely unacceptable for a modern and powerful media device to not allow Flash content.

The Anti-Flash side points out the public lack of support on the iPhone along with major reasons to despise the technology.

The Pro-Flash camp pointed out sites like Hulu and YouTube for video, and the numerous games available only through a Flash interface. Adobe even chimed in with a blog post presenting their argument for Flash.

And without Flash support, iPad users will not be able to access the full range of web content, including over 70% of games and 75% of video on the web.

They have a valid (somewhat) point that the flash platform allows flexibility and a maturity that does not exist in other technologies such as HTML5.

The Flash Blog (An independent site evangelizing the Flash platform) was quick to point out how widespread the content is including pointing out very obviously the porn side of the web. They used a very effective tagline in the post that had twitter ablaze with arguments.

Millions of websites use Flash. Get used to the blue legos.

On the other side of the fence was the Anti-Flash camp, pointing out statements that Flash is the leading cause of crashes on Mac's. The fact that it is a huge CPU hog and that is just a bad format. I would generally count myself in this camp, my MacBook runs Flash content horribly. HTML5 is going to be great, especially when paired with the advances in AJAX.

Conan O’Brien Says He Won’t Host ‘Tonight Show’ Following Leno - Media Decoder Blog - NYTimes.com

"Mr. O’Brien said ‘I sincerely believe that delaying the ‘Tonight Show’ into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. ‘The Tonight Show’ at 12:05 simply isn’t the ‘Tonight Show.’’"

I couldn't be happier with this statement. Thank you Conan, keep it up.

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Homes Just 5 Feet Wide

I've always found this idea of the locker sized cubicles for sleeping comical, but perhaps this is a practical solution for the homeless masses. One could argue that this is not a humane manner of treating people, but I think that is based on the American McMansion standard of space. This article on the NYTimes for more.

For Some of Japan’s Jobless, Homes Just 5 Feet Wide - : "Home Is a Tiny Plastic Bunk"